A New Momma and a Newborn

A couple months ago I wrote about a local friend who was pregnant and whom I had visited and given a quilt. (See here.) Yesterday I went to visit her and her new baby. I was super excited. It was the first time I had been able to visit someone during the month after they had given birth, the baby was 10 days old yesterday. Emma and I spent an hour visiting with my friend, her mother, mother-in-law, and helper, and drooling over her new baby. Thought you may enjoy some of our conversation. ***My friend is not able to take a shower or wash her hair for a month after having the baby. I asked more specifics about why this is. She said that after having a baby, the mother's body has more difficulty fighting off sickness and if she was to get sick it would take her longer to heal. By not washing herself she was more likely to not get sick. Although she did laugh that if her mother or mother-in-law left her house for only a short time she would probably try to get cleaned up some :). That option seemed highly unlikely. ****Her diet is extremely limited. She can basically only eat specially made hot soup, with no salt! I was surprised, I had no idea that the diet was so limited. I guess that some people, such as the helper that they hired to help during this time, do allow other things. Some say that fruit, just as long as you heat it up so that it is hot, is okay. However my friend's mother and mother-in-law have decided that even fruit cannot be a part of her diet. I cannot even imagine the reaction of all these ladies if I was to tell them that in America the hospital usually has ice and/or popsicles available for new mothers! ****The family decided to hire a helper who is trained in caring for newborns and new mothers. She comes every day and will continue for the entire month. During the hour that I was there I never once saw anyone but the helper care for the new baby. The helper brought it into the room to show Emma and I and we also went into the bedroom later to see the baby again, however only the helper handled the baby while everyone else talked about it and looked on. It was also the helper who took care of its messes. My friend said that at night, when the helper is not there, her husband and mother work together to take care of the baby. Every day the mother, mother-in-law, and helper are always at the home to help take care of things. ****At one point in my visit, I was bombarded by questions from the 4 ladies. I was surprised by the questions and the order, let's see if I can remember some of them. "What did you eat after you had your babies?" "When could you start eating salt?" "When did your baby first start eating salt?" (Not sure why that question came next!) "When did you first go out?" "Didn't you have THE injection after you had your babies?" Still not sure what THE injection is, have a couple guesses. I will have to ask some more questions later. "Did you have your babies by yourself?" (Meaning labor rather than c-section). "Who watches your kids every day?" Not sure if I liked being bombarded with questions. One thing is that I have not yet experienced a c-section which in itself can make the time after giving birth look much different. Still there were many surprised looks, and this was not necessarily the focus I wanted to give during my visit. ***Emma and I left after an hour of talking and watching her new little one. Every time I see a new baby, I am immediately in awe of how Father creates these new little beings, so perfect and so beautiful. Before walking out the door, I was invited to come back anytime. There really is not much to do when you are stuck inside all day, with your mother, mother-in-law, and a helper all taking care of everything :) My friend said she was bored and looked so forward to any company! ****On another note... I got home and asked my househelper lots of questions about her own experiences with new mothers. She pretty much told me all the same stuff I mentioned from my visit above. This one really got me: She said that I was able to do all the things the way I did after having a baby because I was not in Asia. If I was to have a baby in Asia, I would have to do everything the way it is done here or else my health would be bad. This is because the air here is different. Now I have heard this reasoning for lots and lots of things, like my kids could drink cold milk in America but cannot here because the air is different, or that they can go without socks in America but need to wear them here because the air is different. Jared and I are now wondering, what if I have our baby in another country and then come back here after 2 weeks? Can I still do things the way I want to, or is it recommended that I then switch to the local way?