Park Rules

Here are the rules of a park we frequent often. (Or at least the rules determined by the Joachims, after much observation).

1. Only dogs and children are permitted to poop on the grass.

2. Use of the park is permitted during fertilizer/weed killer application, just as long as you move to the side as the men with masks apply the spray widely and liberally.

3. Vehicles are not permitted within the park unless you have a reason, and in that case you may drive wherever you would like and as fast as you would like.

4. You may go on the grass as much as you would like, no matter how many times you see signs posted otherwise and hear ongoing announcements over the loudspeakers telling you to stay off the grass.

5. If you see a man with a megaphone yelling, simply stay on the sidewalk while he is looking your way and he will be 'happy'.

6. There are garbage cans provided for your convenience however, if it is too inconvenient, throw your garbage on the ground. Someone else will come and pick it up. (Maybe one of the masked men applying the weed killer.)

7. All of the above stated rules, and any other rules that seem to be in place, may be broken.